Thursday, October 9, 2008

3 Evil Words--Make Me Proud, 9th Oct. '08

This isn't exactly about writing but it will be.

'Make me proud' is a demand. It may be couched in a sweet tone, or a pleading one, but take away the coating and it's has nothing to do with love. It's conditional acceptance of something or someone to elicit the reaction of pride. A reaction like this is a secondary, side-line, parasitic disease sucking the life and energy like a leech.

The parent demands with the word 'Make'. The parent holds the child's life and dreams hostage for the lack of whatever in the parent's life.

When a parent says this--what are they looking for? The boy gets into the Little League because Dad loves baseball? The daughter is in law school because Mom always wanted to be in the middle of a courtroom drama?

Yes, parents want their children to do well, as authors want their work to sell, but that has got to low on the list because it is based on artifice. It's based on selfish reasons, not on love for the sake of something just being.

The parent is selfish using the word 'Me'. Oh, 'I gave the child life, the child owes ME'. Really? The parent is the one who provides the egg or sperm. The child HAS NO CHOICE IN BEING BORN. Many parents take away other choices: in what the child should do, whom they should be, what kind of spiritual life they should practice, what kind of partner with whom want to share their life, and on, and on.

Pride is a feeling of self-worth and self-respect. The one who says this, Make Me Proud, is stealing that worth and that respect from another. Emotional slavery reinforced by acting tall because one stands on another's shoulders.

I want this story to sell. I want the world to know me.

Is that going to be the basis for the writing?

Being published is not bad, making money from what you love to do is not bad.

We all enjoy laurel wreaths and financial recognition, but they are temporary. When champions rode through Rome, lauded by the crowds, one stood by whispering in their ear.

"Remember, thou art mortal."

Love isn't. When you love, that just keeps going. It's not based on 'Make Me Proud', or 'what are you going to do for me?' which stretches wants into the future, but on what is now.

I love this child, now, as she is, as he is, that's all. I want the best for this child. I give the child all the tools I know, all the tricks I have, all the places I know to be that, and I will give the child freedom to find her or his own path.

I love this story. I will make it as good as I can. I will look for others who will help me to do the same, and I am happy that it exists, here and now.