Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The 12 Days of Fantasy Writing Dec 9th, '08

Just for fun! And I like parodies that go off the deep end :}



On the first day of fantasy, this cliché came to me:

A sultry sylph in a birch tree.

On the second day of fantasy, this cliché came to me:

Two dragon-eating virgins, and a sultry sylph in a birch tree.

On the third day of fantasy, this cliché came to me:

Three toothsome trolls, two dragon-eating virgins, and a sultry sylph in a birch tree.

On the fourth day of fantasy, this cliché came to me:

Four fierce ogres, three toothsome trolls, two dragon-eating virgins, and a sultry sylph in a birch tree.

On the fifth day of fantasy, this cliché came to me:

Five wicked warty witches! Four somewhat-fierce ogres, three toothsome trolls, two dragon-eating virgins, and a snarky sylph in a birch tree.

On the sixth day of fantasy, this cliché came to me:

Six sleazy villains, five wicked warty witches! Four ambivalent ogres, three tra-la-ing trolls, two dragon-eating virgins not on a diet, and a surprised sylph in a birch tree.

On the seventh day of fantasy, this cliché came to me:

Seven doe-eyed maidens, six sleazy villains, five wicked warty one-eyed witches! Four fiddling ogres, three travel-weary trolls, two dragon-eating virgins who aren't vegetarians, and a startled sylph in a birch tree.

On the eighth day of fantasy, this cliché came to me:

Eight eagle-eyed elven archers, seven doe-eyed maidens, six sleazy villains, five wicked warty one-eyed wincing witches! Four fainting ogres, three tv-addicted trolls, two dragon-eating virgins in need of a stair-master, and a sylph scratching poison ivy in a birch tree.

On the ninth day of fantasy, this cliché came to me:

Nine nasty necromancers, eight eagle-eyed elven tiddlywink champs, seven doe-eyed maidens (at least that's what their name-tags read), six sleazy badly-dressed villains, five wicked warty witches with winsome slack-jawed smiles! Four flatulent ogres--no more refried beans, three traveling trolls looking for room service, two dragon-eating virgins who don't need this much fiber in their diets, and an antsy sylph in a birch tree.

On the tenth day of fantasy, this cliché came to me:

Ten tremendous giants, nine nasty necromancers wearing Nikes, eight eagle-eyed elven florists, seven doe-eyed maidens--who are we kidding they're all trollops, six sleazy villains with greasy hair answering to the name of Snape, five wicked warty witches with widdle bittle bwack kitties! Four frumpish ogresses sans spouses, three toothsome trolls opening a dentistry service, two dragon-eating virgins (the girls need antacid by now), and a panicking sylph in a birch tree.

On the eleventh day of fantasy, this cliché came to me:

Eleven scheming councilors, ten tremendous giants with gout, nine nasty necromancers in search of a reality show, eight eagle-eyed elven pizza delivery boys, seven doe-eyed maidens, er, okay, not after the wet-t-shirt contest, six sleazy villains working at Wall Street, five wicked warty witches with stock in Mary Kay cosmetics! Four fur-covered ogres since winter's finally here, three toothsome trolls nibbling on the dental receptionist, two dragon-eating virgins who have stopped snacking between meals, and a hysterical sylph with oozing blisters in a birch tree.

On the twelfth day of fantasy, this cliché came to me:

Twelve regal empresses, eleven scheming councilors in a pillow fight, ten tremendous giants who want to be couch potatoes, nine nasty necromancers selling fake Viagra, eight eagle-eyed elven mud-pie makers, seven doe-eyed maidens--uh, they're in their fifties now and opened a whole-food outlet, six sleazy villains torturing Barbie dolls with Malibu Stacy, five wicked warty witches slow-cooking Mary Kay founder for false advertising! Four flailing ogres who fell through thin ice on their way to the ballet, three toothsome trolls who gave up the whole Billy Goat's Gruff schtick, two dragon-eating virgins in jail on the Endangered Species act, and a hysterical red-bump covered sylph needing more hands to scratch with, and who wants to bulldoze every damned tree!

1 comment:

AmandaLyn said...

but.... you didn't say what day the muse was gonna come calling again, and I've been sitting here waiting.

well done, and a great list! LOL